From the heart of a mother...

“My daughter's words sent chills down my spine. And, for a moment, the world seemed to stop…”

The above words are from a letter that was recently sent to Bravehearts from a mother whose young daughter was sexually abused by her father. 

Her letter reminded us of the incredible courage it takes for children to disclose abuse.

It reminded us of the tenacity of a protective parent’s love. 

And it reminded us, most of all, of the power of counselling in helping children recover from the trauma of child sexual abuse. 

The mother who wrote this letter has kindly permitted us to share part of it with you. We implore you to read her words and then consider this ask: This Christmas, will you give $150 to help fund counselling for a child who has been sexually abused? 

TRIGGER WARNING: The content below discusses child sexual abuse. If you need support, please contact Bravehearts on 1800 272 831 or go to our website.

the words no parent  ever imagines they will hear...

I heard words from my daughter that no parent ever imagines they will hear.

Words that sent chills down my spine. That formed a hard lump in my throat. That made my entire body shake uncontrollably. I could see fear and confusion in her face, and I can only imagine what she saw in mine.

Then, almost immediately, she took those words back.

Silence. Complete silence.

Every instinct in me wanted answers. I wanted to know what had happened, when it had happened, and whether there was more. But questioning her was not my job. My job was to listen and to get her the help she needed.

My daughter began counselling. Week after week, she was given the time and space to communicate in ways that felt safe to her. 

Sometimes through talking. 

Sometimes through drawing or play.

Sometimes through silence and sometimes through anger.

There were times when she had emotional outbursts; when the emotions she was carrying seemed too enormous for her little body to contain. 

Week after week we continued to show up and so did her counsellor.

At home, I watched my previously confident little girl struggle.

She regressed.

She experienced emotional meltdowns, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts. 

She became frightened and uncertain.  

She could no longer sleep alone. And every night, when she eventually fell asleep curled beside me, I would bury my head in my pillow and sob.

I grieved for the childhood I felt had been taken from her.

And I carried an enormous amount of guilt.

How did I not know?

How could something like this happen to my child without me seeing it?

Over time, I began to understand how grooming extends beyond a child, manipulating entire families into trusting someone who causes harm. The shame was never mine to carry.

Meanwhile, my daughter continued counselling. And I waited for her to talk to me about the abuse.

I began to understand that supporting my daughter was not about getting her to tell me what had happened. It was about making her feel safe enough to speak to me when she was ready.

Then, one day, came the words I had waited so long to hear: “Can we talk about Daddy?”

She talked to me about her experience not just through conversations, but through play, writing, and even singing. Slowly, her confusion began to give way to understanding. She began to recognise that what had happened was wrong. What he did was wrong. 

And that the responsibility and shame were never hers.

There is only one person responsible, one person who holds the shame: the offender. 

For my daughter, finding her voice and healing from her trauma took months of counselling. Other children may need less counselling; others may need more. I just hope they get the chance to be heard and to heal, as my daughter did. 

~ Written from the heart of a mother who has been broken, but never defeated, and who stands in awe of her extraordinarily brave little girl.

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